Comparisons
Mark E. Haskins
July 21, 2025
Who hasn’t seen the Top Gun movies? Both have adrenalin-pumping scenes of sleek jets, flaming engines, aerial dogfights, and amazing launches off (and landings on) an aircraft carrier. Even for us non-pilots, such scenes ignite a desire for speed, brotherhood, mission, and taking it to the enemy. In both movies, the perfectly timed and executed musical score—Kenny Loggins’ Danger Zone 1 –quickens the energy-pumping pace and anticipation of the story. The song foretells of the danger zone the pilots know they will enter. And yet they head right into it.
For many of us, a trip into a danger zone is not in the enticing cockpit of a modern fighter jet. Nevertheless, the danger zones we enter often have a strong pull and we know they are fraught with potential harm—yet we go there. Powerful and all-too-prevalent danger zones include such destructive arenas as drugs, alcohol, isolation, infidelity, and gambling. There are others though that are less talked about and seemingly less dangerous. They are not. The danger zone I want to highlight often leads to one of two possible undesirable outcomes—self-righteousness or self-deprecation. Both outcomes are detrimental to our Christian journey. Along with the Apostle Paul, let’s not make comparisons (II Corinthians 10: 12). Are you familiar with that danger zone? I can testify that the Enemy is lurking there. Comparisons are one of his wily traps. The comparisons path should have “Keep Out”, “Do Not Enter” signs posted at its trailhead. If we find ourselves making comparisons, we have rolled right into that danger zone. And yet, we are wired for comparisons because of life’s competitions (e.g., sports), a focus on performance (e.g., job reviews), and rewards for accomplishment (e.g., pay raises, promotions).
In our Christian walk, there are three types of comparisons we often make:
- a comparison of ourselves to others,
- a comparison of ourselves to our expectations, and
- a comparison of ourselves today to our past.
Type #1 comparisons can be made within a variety of dimensions (e.g., popularity, position, musical ability). Can you identify some in your life? Such comparisons seek to render a relative judgment of ourselves versus those we either don’t know but observe (e.g., public ministry leaders), or those we do know (e.g., friends with whom we fellowship). Even Jesus’ twelve disciples were guilty of arguing as to who was the greatest amongst them (Mark 9: 34). And, if we are honest, the frequent purpose of this comparison is to judge ourselves to be in the better position—at the top end of the grading curve. Many of us are good at construing such comparisons in our favor (Proverbs 21: 2). The verdicts that come from such comparisons can undermine our peace, kill our joy, plant the lie that we are unworthy (or most favored), produce pride, ignite envy, create resentment, open the door to depression, fuel obsessive striving, or simply cause us to give up. True? But we must declare: Type #1 comparisons are without merit because they are rooted in our flesh nature and lack a complete kingdom context.
A dear friend readily admits having been a modern-day Pharisee (the self-righteous type) in his faith journey. A tendency he still guards against. Self-righteously judging oneself as ‘more Christian’ than another, or having earned more of God’s favor, is a seductive temptation that produces nothing good or true. I plead guilty at times. You? Alertness to that tendency can prompt us to turn to Him for kingdom growth and humility. God does not grade on a comparative curve. In fact, He does not grade because He gave Himself for everyone’s shortcomings (II Corinthians 5: 15). He loves! Henri Nouwen, in the wonderful book The Return of the Prodigal Son, notes that when we “let the truth of God’s motherly non-comparing love permeate [our] hearts,” we can find rest and rejoicing in our “all-giving and forgiving father who does not measure out his love to his children according to how well they behave.”2 How wonderful is that?
Type #2 comparisons seek to assess our perceived growth/change against a self-imposed standard. Here, any standard we set assumes we know what our transformation should be. It is unlikely that we are fully aware of God’s transformational desires for us. Any standard less than Christ-like assumes an accomplishment that is emblematic of thinking we have arrived at some laudable place of performance. The fallacies that exist in that endeavor include:
- expectations are limited because we only see our lives in a rather small, linear story,
- we don’t know what God’s agenda and means are for us, and
- living with specific expectations in mind can promote works-based living.
Recall that the disciple Peter boldly and confidently asserted that he would not deny Jesus (Mark 14: 29-31). He failed against his own expectations. Have you ever failed to meet a self-imposed expectation? As a result, Peter was painfully distraught. But Jesus, who is in the redemption business (see December 2024 blog), expressed His unconditionally deep love for him. That experience produced spiritual growth in Peter producing a more compassionate, humble heart.
Type #3 comparisons foster reflections on our personal transformational journey and learning. This type of comparison can be constructive. The key is prayerfully and humbly asking the Lord to highlight how He has been at work in our life. Yes, we are likely to see where we have stumbled, failed, and taken a wrong turn. More importantly though, we will also see His redemptive faithfulness, provision, instruction, and patience. Thus, Type #3 comparisons have merit if we travel that road with Jesus as our guide and strength. We want those comparisons to prompt us to say, Lord, I love you more today than yesterday. Thank you, Jesus for walking with me through some hard places. Holy Spirit, I am so glad You are in me as the great Counselor. Heavenly Father, your care and arms are so vast, so loving, and so welcoming. Thank you for helping me see that I am a desired part of all that You purpose.
Heads up. Look for the warning signs of walking into the danger zones of comparison Types #1 and #2 in your life and those that you love. At their core, these comparisons involve putting on the robe of a judge and claiming the authority of a standard setter. We are warned not to do that (Romans 14: 13). We can ask our Heavenly Father for assistance to avoid those comparisons. We can grow from seeing how patiently God helps us not go there. As another dear friend reminds me, “All we do is for an audience of one”—He who knows us best and loves us the most. Thank goodness! Like Zacchaeus, let’s do whatever it takes to see Jesus (Luke 19: 2-4) so that we can fix our eyes on Him (Hebrews 12: 2) and as a result, we can avoid the comparisons danger zone.
1 VIDEO: This link takes you to a video that appears to have been created by (or for) the U.S. Navy using the movie’s theme song [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V52d2e1kOtc] (accessed 5-18-25).
2 Henri J. M. Nouwen (1992), The Return of the Prodigal Son, (Image Book, NY, NY), pp. 104-105. Nouwen uses the challenging, yet reassuring, parable of the workers in the vineyard (Matthew 20: 1-16) to underscore God’s non-comparative nature.
